感谢上帝的母亲

今天我fucking happy.

当我手中握着那新买的蓝笔
在SEJARAH KERTAS 2 里 Essay 作业纸里第六页 当我将 Jawab 3 Soalan Sahaja 的第三个Soalan的最后一句答案用最豪爽 最潇洒 歇斯底里地把我所有的情绪 无奈 与难堪都凝聚在最后一粒句点时;


我的人生顿时多了一片云彩.
这, 不是因为多了.

只是少了SEJARAH的那一片臭云.
让我再一次看见我十多年前脑袋异常空白那些时光的云彩.
好美丽.

情绪泛滥我的肾上腺分泌开始失去了协调 我的振兴不会成为遗憾 我的脑袋突然有80%的Space Available 我今天对了很多人 HAHAHAHAHAHA 这样叫着 差点忘了这就是笑
HAHAHAHA 好开心

就好像我要打给你的时候 你便打来了
就好像还没要上学就到校了
就好像Mouse Icon还没拉到 Folder 就已经开了
就好像要吃东西就已经吃饱了
就好像还没恋爱就已经感动已经分手了
就好像还没买万字 就已经中头奖了
就好像还没上厕所大便就拉了出来
就好像还没演奏 台下观众已经耳油泛滥
就好像裤子还没穿 拉链便拉好了
就好像我的status还没post 就有七十亿人口Like 了
就好像我还没上车 车子就已经自己开走了
就好像我煎蛋时 还没打蛋 蛋就已经熟了
就好像还没去跑步 就已经瘦了
就好像还没弹钢琴音符便已经填满空气
就好像还没睡觉就已经醒来了
就好像还没读书就第一名了
就好像还没剪头发就botak了
就好像我想要bitch slap人的时候 那人已经倒地瘫痪了
就好像我要回家时 我的家已经搬到我附近
就好像还没做工 就已经退休了

就好像考了Sejarah一样.

拿不拿A+
拿不拿A
其实一点也不重要
我付出的我没有遗憾我没有后悔
我的人生以后也不会有"早知道"
好Positive的晚上.

Till debt do us part.

I don't know how it's done , the other side of me actually reveals myself as a person I did not want myself to be. I'm not being repetitive , but deadly seriously , I'm not a split. Apart of this ,I didn't really come up with any idea to sort things out, the notion was simply too easy and understandable.


I am wicked. Despite of my humility , which is barely there , my incomplete repentance and my ego , the 30% side of me has a unacceptable tendency of looking down on peoples.
I love to rate peoples , always been my hobby throughout my routine when visiting to places or idling on a certain spot , I love observing the very essence of humanity. This subsequently diverged into an attitude of me to actually hate people even I dont really know them.



meh, babbles again.
im too clingy , with the keyboards.

Abusive .

It's already vanquished.
I speak only sarcasm and reticence.
I feel contented with what I have and had.

The catch is , what's all these for?
Knowledge is the power to make other feels stupid, and now I'm talking about capabilities.
Stand strong on your ground let confidence invites you but not arrogance.



我讨厌成功。
一旦成功了就会开始自负 忘我 原本的戒备心通通消失 留下许多破绽让人随意动摇自己 然后又跌到谷底去

这感觉比失败还要难受 比被击败的耻辱更见不得人 她奶的竟还有这种令人作呕的感官刺激

所以我失败地很满意
不
我成功的东西不多 但也很满意


鬼屁zzz

It's not too early

It's 7 in the evening. The table clock was in front of me all the time, the only difference was it wasn't within my sight for the past 4 hours, credits to my lust over me to spend time on games that I shouldn't be playing. Eh ? Considering this as a good deed, because keeping the mind at a clear state is a part of the exam.

Overjoyed for hitting the last word of the whole hunk of sejarah notes and yet put down by the immense oppression for being not able to recall any of what I've studied in the past 6 days.

Oh yeah and I almost forgot I had my BM revision session written on the timetable. Apology to myself for being forgetful. Wait , for being oblivious I'd say.

Dilemma over bm or sejarah. Whichever is more important , scoring A in any of these two or both sounds challenging, for it is only because I was too lazy to pick up. And so go on with my determination and patience and perseverance and faith and fortitude and a-badaboom-badabing.


Hope the next day I open my eyes , I'll be cuddling lady luck and kissing her affectionately .

Please excuse me , what time is it?

Not sure how long has it been for me to be like this , at this very morning where feelings of neutrality instead of negativity flows in along with the dripping of raindrops on my windows and of course on the tiles ahead of me when I opened my eyes.

The sun went his way up behind the bleak clouds.
There wasn't any trace of the sun , no warmth , no sunshine, and all of these actually made up the dismal mood in my room.
True , however i'm unaffected, probably because I had a clear cut with all the negativity I had back in the time.
I'm not sad , and yet I'm not sad too in different context , given if I were me two years ago , I could have been lamenting my disability to give reasons to support why the fuck I ain't sad , and consequently ending myself as a sad piece of potato, not a whole*

The feeling was never there until roughly 10 hours ago I was sort of fascinated with all the blogs written by peoples around me, peoples I do not even know their existence as an entity.
Giggling secretly as they wrote their problems , commenting how their life shouldn't be in a away they are in now, and cheering myself over this little dimension fitted with objects and non-objects(ants and me).

Nah , just kidding.
I dont really care what SPM is , but as a milestone of my life , working hard on it was my dream , a dream I do not actually need a specific reason, though I'm already valid to be enrolled as a student in my college for the general intake which trials result is more emphasized.

Someone serve me a nice cup of coffee? Preferably a black , smoky one with an intense texture , perfectly aromatic and garnished with a pinch of sugars.

Dont set things too far off from ourselves , the view might be picturesque , but too far off your niche means you will be losing it one day.

No this is not a mediocre you'll expect!

I'm certainly aware of the fact that spm is 2 days away from me. Basically I'm fearless , but that's all to its basic, because when things get complex , they do, say , there are always wonder how a family can branches into 96 or maybe 960 members in places where guys with imbalanced love hormone's distribution are reproductive narcissistic and sexually turned on for 27 hours daily paradoxically and so on with whatever cases that are able to entitled to the category " Complexity " . We are always aware , yes , the complexity of a case shouldn't be neglected as even the littlest detail in our life , or maybe around you , right where , right now could have the devastating potential to engulf the whole you and lead you to another dimension and never to be seen by your friends and family again. Don't you believe in me? Look for the dust under your bed or cupboard. Take a pinch and spread it evenly on your nostril , now run to a mirror and observe carefully. Your expression turns to a monstrous , extra terrestrial look that we'd preferably call it , socially unacceptable in terms of the scale of beauty rated from negative infinity to positive infinity inclusive of imaginary scales of the unspoken beauty , you will be at somewhere near the negative infinite. I'm about to reveal the secret that what you are going to do next is not called Sneezing, it's a part of the ritual where our primitive ancestor does to communicate with the other side of our sanity(dimension) , the moment you open your mouth , with the distorted expression you are reverting into what you really were, by closing the eyes is to make over ourselves to be seen in the dark by the communicator in the other side of dimension. "ah chooo" is the sound you will make next but if we record it with the latest 1080p HD recorder and you replay it for about 172 times you will eventually find out that the sound ah choo actually means something else , which is considerably the greatest mystery to mark the start of this new decade. Try not to view things on different perspectives because you will end up like me spitting delusional gibberish which makes utterly no sense at all , and in turn might have waste your not-so-precious time reading this article , i'm fine if i'm negatively commented by the act of trying to come up with the humorous you'd expect and yet i'm fine if you are criticizing secretly for any grammatical mistake you ever found up there or actually I don't really care. My fingers really enjoyed spending time waltzing on the keyboards as I'm really done with my studying, no , my cortical skimming of papers with words written for further attempts to write accordingly on another sheet of paper given from my dearest , earnest government, repeatedly for 10 subjects to comprehend my MEMORIZING ABILITY into a certificate with my grades listed from A to G as such my future bosses would look into my memorizing capacity and assign me to one of the different fields they actually offer and pay me wages I don't really crave for.

If there were any mistakes , please dont fucking comment , because this is typed with my eyes 67% closed and I can measly find the publish post button under this gigantic clusterfuck of words and red waves